Your Man and the Strip Club
A friend of mine made a point a while back that there are generally two types of men who spend all their time in strip clubs:
a) The 18-year old infantile horny virgin dude.
b) The 18-year old infantile horny virgin dude fast forward 20-30 years, who is now the horny infantile psychosocial issues dude.
I can tell you he’s pretty much right.
Working at the strip club, I’ve seen all types of men. Gross ones, rich ones, cheap ones, married ones, etc. I was working one afternoon and a big group of men came to the club for a luncheon and I recognized one of them. He was the fill-in weather guy on the local news. He wasn’t broadcast very often, hence the brazenness to come into the place without fear of being recognized.
I immediately knew who he was and I asked him if he was “Greg So-n-So from Channel 2 News”. He became very quiet for a moment and replied, “What if I say no?”
Clearly it wasn’t a place he wanted to be seen in, much like many of the other men there who were the husbands, boyfriends, and fiancés of many oblivious women. This guy wasn’t a regular so he doesn’t really count.
The regulars I’d always seen stopping in every week did have one thing in common. They had something missing in their lives and came to the strip club to escape reality. And regardless of what anyone believes, men who have a wife or a fiancé, or are in some type of serious relationship have no business spending every weekend at the strip club.
The occasional bachelor party is the exception but if I hear the phrase “men are visual creatures” one more time, I think I’ll break out my Mack 10 and start blasting. To be visual is to be human and it isn’t specific to males only. We women notice hot naked chicks too and justifying it as being a “guy thing” is absurd. That’s like saying women max out their husband’s credit cards buying useless crap because it’s a “girl thing” and that somehow makes it okay.
There are reasons your man is always at the strip joint and why he feels it’s okay to be there and not home with you. Part of it’s your fault but it’s mostly his. Go to any online dating site and you'll see women who list income requirements much higher than their own. They are too picky. Read on:
- You put up with it.
I’m pretty sure it’s no mystery that you knew about his fun little “secret” activity before you decided to sign the dotted line. Only now, you’re a little too uncomfortable with it, even though you always have been, and now you want him to stop. By all means, you can go ahead and try to tell him to stop but it’s going to be difficult for him to respect you and take you seriously when you renege on the “rules”. You agreed to him going all this time and if you tell him to stop now, he’s going to laugh at you on his way out the door.
Next time, be clear on what your boundaries are and if it isn’t okay with you, don’t pretend that it is. Ever.
- He’s an inadequate douchebag with a small peepee complex.
He has to go and play Hugh Hefner for a day, sans silk leopard print robe, Cuban cigar and flaccid Viagra penis, and throw his paychecks around like a baller because he wants to appear to be someone important and noteworthy. He fails to prove otherwise to anyone in real life and deep down he knows it, so he goes to the strip club and gets a VIP room for an hour and goes home with blue balls for the rest of the night. Then he kicks himself because he just ran up a $2000 tab on his credit card and he still didn’t get any.
This guy’s always got something to prove to himself and everyone. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life boosting his flailing ego, you might want leave your options open.
- He’s a straight up dirtbag.
He’s an absolute pig and makes no qualms about letting everyone know it. He doesn’t care what you or anyone thinks of him leering at the neighbor’s 18-year old daughter in booty shorts and a bikini top, and expressing out loud how yummy she looks and how he’d like the opportunity to bend her upside down and sideways and…. You get the picture.
The strip club is his natural environment. He can sit there and salivate like a Saint Bernard and beat his chest like a baboon. This guy’s also privy to getting thrown out of the club for inappropriately touching the women because he can’t control himself.
If you stay with a guy like this, you truly need to check in with your local mental health institution and have your head examined.
- He’s looking to score and not with you.
A lot of foolish men go into strip clubs thinking they can actually date the dancers. Your man is one of them. I might tell you to take heart in the fact that he’s not going to accomplish this in a million years but then I’d have to slap you in the face by pointing out his obvious attempt at trying. He’s going there because he has a fascination with one of the dancers and he’s sending her flowers and showing up with gifts every chance he gets.
If you’re his woman, he should have a fascination with you and not someone who lives in the make-believe erotic fantasy world he’s created in his own mind. And if he’s not trying to get with the girl from the club, soon enough it’ll be someone else.
- He’s trying to impress other people.
He’s only going because his buddies are going. He doesn’t have the balls to disregard his bromance for the sake of keeping a solid rapport with you because he doesn’t want to look like a punk. So he goes to shut them up while saving face.
He’s pretty much a wimp and you may want to factor this in if you are considering him for the long haul. If he can’t choose your relationship over a freaky good time out with the guys, then he isn’t going choose you when it really counts. Like when you’re in the hospital having his baby or taking his shirts to the cleaners. He’ll be too busy butt-kissing his bros and leaving you in the dust.
- He’s doing it to spite you.
He knows you hate it probably because you’ve told him before. Yet, he’s going anyway and he’s having a good old time relishing in the fact that you’re laying up at home in bed wondering if he’s getting the old “I’ll pay extra for the VIP treatment”. And I guarantee you, he probably is. He knows it drives you totally insane and he thinks it’s the perfect way for you to stew in misery while he gets his rocks off. If that’s not passive aggressive sadism in its purest form, I don’t know what is.
There are some real issues in your relationship with this guy you should really examine. This guy deciding to go to the strip club because it gets under your skin is just the tip of the iceberg. There are many other shady things he’s doing that you need to quit ignoring.
I found working in the strip club to be a big lesson in men. There are good ones and bad ones. A man making the strip club his second home while he’s with you just isn’t okay, and you sitting there pretending that it is only enables him to continue making you look like a fool. Let this be a lesson and a warning of what’s to come.
